One Word That Makes Kids 30% More Likely to Cooperate — And It Works on Adults Too
A single word can prime a positive identity and dramatically boost willingness to say yes. In a Stanford preschool study, five-year-olds were asked to help clean a messy classroom under two prompts. One group heard, “Can you help clean?” while another group heard, “Can you be a helper and clean up?” The children who were told to be a “helper” were about 30% more likely to want to clean the classroom. They weren’t merely eager to tidy up; they wanted the label of being a helper. This shows that the key isn’t just asking for help, but reframing the request as a path to an identity.
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Identity framing: turning actions into identities
Researchers at Stanford ran a simple classroom experiment with preschoolers. Two similar requests were tested: one group asked, “Can you help clean?” and the other, “Can you be a helper and clean up?” The latter group showed a notable boost in willingness—about 30% more children chose to participate—not solely because of cleanliness, but because they wanted to be seen as helpers. Berger describes this as reframing actions into identities: the idea that people seek to see themselves as capable in a variety of roles.
From actions to identities: the language of persistence
Berger explains that describing someone as a “hard worker” can make the trait feel more lasting than simply saying they are hardworking. Language matters because it frames how a trait sticks in the self-concept. Examples include changing verbs: instead of asking someone to lead more, ask, “Can you be a leader?”; instead of asking someone to innovate, ask, “Can you be an innovator?” Turning actions into identities makes people likelier to engage in those actions.
Power of reframing: identity as a driver of action
Berger notes that reframing actions as opportunities to claim desirable identities makes people more likely to act. This isn’t limited to small tasks; it can influence choices like voting. As he told CNBC Make It, “Framing actions as opportunities to claim desired identities will make people more likely to do them.” For example, if voting becomes a chance to show I am a voter, I’m more likely to participate.
The double-edged sword: the power of words
Words can shape self-concept for better or worse. Berger cautions that words aren’t trivial: “We think individual words don’t really matter that much. That’s a mistake.” He adds, “You could have excellent ideas, but excellent ideas aren’t necessarily going to get people to listen to you.” The same framing can push people toward or away from actions depending on how they’re labeled—such as self-description: “I’m a runner” or “I’m a chef.” We tell kids, “You don’t just read, you’re a reader.”
