Men shower me with expensive gifts, but I do nothing in return — I am utterly useless, and I am proud of it
Jenny Jakkila rethought romance after her first love. “During the time we were together, I became increasingly unhappy, exhausted, and finally burnt out, juggling work, university, and paying 50/50,” she admits. When she realized this couldn’t continue, her ex decided to take on full responsibility for supporting the family. “I had time and energy to focus on my health and wellbeing, and to deepen my spirituality and practice manifestation.” She learned a lot about female energy and its magnetic power. At the same time, she saw how her partner changed as he took on the provider role. She adds: “His business literally took off within a month. We were happy together for several more years. We visited almost 30 countries, and all financial costs were on him. But in the end we decided to go separate ways.”
In This Article:
The breadwinner dynamic: a man’s role, respect, and the cost of love
Jenny, born in Finland and now living in Berlin, explains what the breadwinner does: “The breadwinner man seeks to care for women, especially his own. For such men it is important to be a protector and a support. He sincerely respects and values femininity, and does not calculate who gets more in the relationship.” She adds that a 30-year-old Finn believes women should be with men who “bring them some benefit.” “A man should make a woman’s life better: pay the bills, give gifts, fulfill her requests, and help her. The presence of a woman is priceless to a man. It heals and fills his life with joy and light. Meeting a beautiful woman lifts his status.” She notes that couples often shape each other, and that the provider’s success came with a price, yet the dynamic remains central to her worldview.
Selfishness, rules, and the ‘woman is the prize’ philosophy
“I am completely useless and proud of it. I don’t cook, I don’t clean, and, honestly, I don’t even want to live with a man.” Jenny says. “Women are taught to give, give, give until there’s nothing left.” “Men are, by nature, selfish, and if a woman wants to deal with them, she must put herself first. She is always the prize.” “The man should pay for the woman. That’s the minimum he can do. And she gives her precious time, energy, and attention. Even talking to him is a risk for her.”
Boundaries, timelines, and the risks of romance
She waits three to four months before deciding whether to pursue a serious relationship with a dating partner. “I view physical intimacy as an exchange of energy. There are only a few men with whom I am willing to share that energy. There are risks like pregnancy and STIs.” “Consistency is really the only way to reveal someone’s true character and intentions.” She has faced threats from men. “I often get threats from men. I don’t take them seriously, because most of the bullies stayed in Finland.” She also critiques Disney’s romance propaganda, arguing it can lead to manipulation, abuse, or serious psychological trauma — and she urges women to be selfish and put themselves first.
