Hidden Earnings and Hidden Power A Husband Refuses to Share His Salary
What’s yours…isn’t mine? Finances are always a tricky topic that people don’t often want to discuss. Yet, one would assume if anyone is going to reveal their yearly salary, it would be their spouse — well, not in this marriage. A frustrated wife took to Reddit to ask for advice on how to handle the fact that her husband won’t reveal what he earns. In a post in the r/AITA forum on Reddit (which has since been deleted), the original poster shared how she and her hubby have been together for 9 years, married for one. She revealed that he was always private about his finances — something one would assume would change once marriage was on the table — and that he now handles all the couple’s finances, while she takes care of their home and makes sure the fridge is stocked. “We’ve seemed to settle into this arrangement with no issues from either side,” she wrote in her post. “He’s never disclosed how much money he makes annually or given me any insight into his finances.” “He also bought our new house without me being present or even knowing he purchased it, saying it was a surprise,” the OP shared. “I did tour it before and really liked it so it wasn’t an issue, it’s just the fact that I was not included in this decision-making.” Although this wife doesn’t seem to be very clued into their expenses, in the post she shared that she’s starting to keep track of her spending, at least, since she uses her own money to pay for her own things. Yet, she has no idea what her husband earns, nor will he show her bank accounts or statements. Instead, he tells her to assume, based on the material things they have as a couple, that he makes a good chunk of money for the two of them. “I said I understood that but I feel that if I’m going to have a child with you and become more dependent, I’d like to fully understand. He says that it’s not important and that I’ll tell people,” she wrote. Reddit users weren’t having any of it. “These are things you need to talk before marriage but better late than never I guess. It’s very sus that he is refusing to let you in the loop regarding his finances. NTA,” wrote one shocked commenter under this wife’s post. “Get a full-time job. Make sure you don’t get pregnant. Run,” advised someone else. Sadly, this isn’t the first time a selfish husband has shown some beyond bizarre behavior. “Don’t get pregnant if he doesn’t put you on the bank accounts. This might be his way of trying to financially control you,” quipped another commenter. What do you think? Post a comment.
In This Article:
A Surprise House Purchase Deepens the Financial Divide
One selfish husband who is forced to stay home and take care of his and his wife’s kids due to health reasons complains about watching the kiddos while his wife is out working. After a day of work, this frustrated wife has to come home to him, moaning and groaning that he’s had to look after his own children. “He does one school drop off and one pick up. He has the rest of the day/s to do as he pleases,” the wife wrote on a community site.
Online Reactions Mark Secrecy as Financial Control
One male in-law controlled family finance so tightly that even after multiple brushes with death and over a year of long-term care (medical issues) and a couple of cardiac arrests he had not told his wife what their finances were. After his death she had to hire an accountant to straighten it all ... My mother went through that when my dad died suddenly in 2021. He never did any estate planning, even though my oldest brother was leaning on him pre-COVID to start getting his affairs in order (Mom had a stroke in October 2019). The only thing Mom had her name on with Dad was the house and a joint...
Personal Reflections on Money and Marriage
This reminds me of my 15 year marriage. My ex always had the mindset that “my money was OUR money, and her money was HER money”. During the divorce proceedings, my lawyer was able to see that she was making the same amount of money as me. I was the one paying the bills and was the one taking care o... No she's not. Married people can file their taxes separately.
Closing Thoughts and Call to Dialogue
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