Consent starts from nappies, say scientists
Most parents try to get them over and done with as soon as possible – but woke scientists now claim that nappy changes should be used as an opportunity to teach babies consent. Dr Nicole Downs and Dr Katherine Bussey, lecturers in Early Childhood at Deakin University in Australia, maintain that parents should not wait until their kids are teenagers to talk about appropriate touching. Instead, consent should be a 'normal, everyday part of life' that teaches babies what is acceptable when it comes to their bodies. Parents should take their children's views into account, according to the pair – even when it comes to dealing with a dreaded nappy disaster. 'You can start teaching little ones about consent before they even talk', the scientists explained in an article for The Conversation. 'Nappy changes can easily be seen by parents as a task to rush through and just "get done". 'But this can be a time to help children learn about consent and how their bodies work.' This isn't the first time the idea has been floated – in 2018, Body Safety Australia chief Deanne Carson was widely ridiculed for claiming babies should give consent for nappy changes. Most parents try to get them over and done with as soon as possible – but woke scientists now claim that nappy changes should be used as an opportunity to teach babies consent (file image)
In This Article:
- Initiating a nappy change with consent by getting down to their level
- Observing signals and avoiding distraction during nappy changes
- Anatomy terms to protect and empower children
- Be kind to yourself and recognize limits
- Everyday autonomy beyond nappies
- The science of talking to babies and its contested value
- Other advice includes
Initiating a nappy change with consent by getting down to their level
To initiate a nappy change, parents should ensure their child knows what is happening, the scientists claim. 'Get down to their level and say, "you need a nappy change" and then pause so they can take this in,' they advised. 'Then you can say, 'do you want to walk/crawl with me to the change table, or would you like me to carry you?''
Observing signals and avoiding distraction during nappy changes
Parents should observe their facial expressions and body language to check that they understand what is happening, they added. 'It's important children notice when someone is touching their most intimate parts,' they added. Involving the children in the conversation, such as asking them 'can you please lift up your bottom so I can slide your nappy out', is also recommended, they argue.
Anatomy terms to protect and empower children
This is because it 'plants the seed of the idea that a child has the right to say what happens to their body'. 'Using the correct anatomical terms – such as penis, vulva and anus – during nappy changes can also help protect your child going forward, they added. 'T Parents may feel uncomfortable doing this and think more childish names should be used. But this keeps children safe as it means they can then inform trusted adults about their experiences with all the people who care for them,' the pair said. 'Use these same principles when you are changing their clothes or giving them a bath.'
Be kind to yourself and recognize limits
'Be kind' to themselves – and that sometimes it may not be appropriate to ask for consent, for example if you are in a rush or there is an urgent 'poosplosion'. 'The habits we outline above may also seem to add more work to the already demanding parental load,' they said. 'So try and do them as often as possible and be kind to yourself if every nappy change isn't a perfect moment of connection, you are supporting a small child after all.' 'Other everyday ways to give your child a 'sense of agency and autonomy' include asking what colour clothes they want to wear, if they'd prefer an apple or pear or asking if they want to go to the park or for a walk, they added. 'This helps nurture their independence and can reduce power struggles,' the piece says.
Everyday autonomy beyond nappies
In 2021, a post went viral of a mum who asks her baby for consent before changing his nappy. Alissa, who shares parenting techniques on her @once.upon.a.mama TikTok page, posted a video of how she speaks to her son while changing him In 2018, Body Safety Australia chief Deanne Carson called for parents not to change nappies without asking for their child's consent first. This prompted criticism from experts who said changing nappies is 'not abusive' and simply a regular part of parenting. Child psychologist Andrew Fuller said the advice was 'impractical' and could not be applied to daily parenting life in a viable way. 'Families work best when kids trust their parents to do things in their best interest,' he added. 'It's not about consent, it's about trust.'
The science of talking to babies and its contested value
Scientists claim that talking to babies gives them advantages in life far beyond a larger vocabulary. They say that chatting to babies under the age of one helps them make friends, as well as making them brighter because they are better able to discover the world around them. There is some debate about how important it is and also if adults should use their normal voice. Speaking more slowly, using a sing-song voice, and using strange words are commonplace when talking to tiny tots, but past research found that it may be detrimental to a child. Conflicting research claims the high-pitched voice used when talking to a baby is essential. 'Baby talk' is believed by many to help with developing early speech and language skills. These are associated with success in developing reading, writing, and interpersonal skills, both later in childhood and later in life. Long before they can speak clearly, babies understand the general meaning of what you're saying. This bond is important in their development and happiness.
Other advice includes
Other advice includes:
